Yas-No!

So, I'm not really sure why I was looking up Yasmine Bleeth on imdb.com, but I was surprised to see that she hasn't appeared in anything -- no slow-motion beach running, no melodramatic Lifetime movie, nada -- since 2003. I don't know if her, er, 2002 drug-related arrest and rehab had anything to do with it, but dammit, Yasmine, get back out there. Cheech and Don miss you.

Correctionville Terquasquicentennial...?

I might be a little bored, as I was looking at Correctionville's city Web site. And it looks like they've already started the countdown to the next big celebration, the terquasquicentennial -- the 175th anniversary of C'ville. I can only imagine the excitement after having survived the sesquicentennial...

9021-Uh-Oh

It hurts me a little to know that they're remaking Beverly Hills, 90210. It hurts me even more knowing that a) Jessica Walter, who played Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development (and who I absolutely loved on that show!), is playing the grandmother of one of the teens, and 2) instead of having the midwestern schmucks come from Minnesota, she's now from Kansas City. Nice.

Click here to watch a cheesy preview and interview with cast members. Hello, Lori Laughlin, it's nice to see you back on The CW after getting canceled on Summerland (um, not that I watched it or anything). And welcome back to Jennie Garth, Tori Spelling, and Rob Estes. Good to see you've moved on beyond the original 90210 and Melrose Place.

Selling Point...

Today Tom and I attended several open houses around Kansas City.

When we went to look at this house, we were immediately overwhelmed by the hugeness of it. Everything we own would have fit into the living room, let alone the nine other rooms in the house.

We also were a little overwhelmed by the package of edible underwear (one of those candy necklaces, only shaped into a penis-covering G-string) that was prominently displayed on the dresser in the master bedroom. And that, my friends, is one way to sell your house.

SVH

If you know what I'm referring to based on that short acronym, then you've got to be as excited as I am.

They've "updated" the Sweet Valley High books, re-releasing the first two books in the series. SVH books were the ultimate brain candy. Incredibly trashy, incredibly ridiculous, incredibly fun to read. If Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen had been born 20 years earlier, I'm sure they would have been the models used for the original SVH book jackets. Heck, if I would have been born 10 years earlier, I could have enjoyed the first SVH books as they were initially released. (The first one was published in 1983 -- my calculations tell me that the Wakefield twins would be 41 today if they were real people.)

I can't wait to head to a bookstore tomorrow to pick them up. Granted, it's going to look a little weird, I know, but seriously. Elizabeth and Jessica, all over again. And thank God they're now a Size 4 (and no longer Size 6). Those '80s fat asses.

To read an entertaining review of the book, click here. To read an entertaining review of the fasions discussed in the book, click here.

One More Writer Scribes the Formulaic Plot...

I'm sure most of you have heard my tangent of how much I hate some so-called writers that have bestselling books with the same formulaic plot where you can essentially move one character from one book to another and still have the book make sense. My previous example of this: Nicholas Sparks. Boy/girl meet; boy/girl can't get together due to social differences/time constraints/something in a bottle; boy/girl finally get together for 2-3 chapters; boy/girl suffers tragic death/debilitating disease/obvious contrived fate. I'd rather watch Nancy Grace for days on end while sitting on a stiletto heel than read another book written by Nicholas Sparks.

Jodi Picoult has fallen into that same category for me. After reading three of her books now, I've decided that she is the female equivalent of Nicky baby. The only differences I've decided are that her books are a lot longer. She also does so much heavy foreshadowing in her books that to not figure out the ending by Page 12 means you aren't really paying attention to what she's written. Which you don't need to, because you can figure out the entire book by Page 12. It's like she's smacking you in the face with her "surprise" ending.

Of course, having not become a national bestselling author myself, I have little room to talk. This tangent would be a lot longer, but I still haven't fixed my keyboard's space bar, and it's rather like playing Whac-A-Mole. If you like Jodi and Nicky, well, um, that's great. Let's just not talk about them again.